Professionalism, civility and restraint are a trial lawyer’s most powerful tools. Veteran litigator and mediator Mark Mazzarella discusses how winning with grace often matters more than simply winning the fight.
During his nearly 50 years as a litigator, Trial Counsel, Mediator and Arbitrator Mark Mazzarella learned that the most important lessons for a successful litigation have less to do with legal technicalities and more to do with human behavior.
In the September 2025 edition of the ABTL (Association of Business Trial Lawyers) Report, Mark writes in “Make Love (or at Least Nice), Not War” that the best lawyers evolve from eager fighters to wise professionals who know that civility, restraint and perspective win the day.
The Duckor, Metzger & Wynne, APLC, trial attorney and mediator’s message is rooted in hard-won experience: conflict is easy, professionalism is powerful. What begins as a young lawyer’s instinct to battle every point can, over time, transform into a seasoned understanding that the true measure of advocacy lies not in how fiercely you fight but in how gracefully you do it.
Key Takeaways from “Make Love (or at Least Nice), Not War:”
- Civility is a strategy, not a weakness. Starting every interaction with professionalism, whether it’s a “meet and confer” or a tough negotiation, sets the tone for productive relationships and better outcomes.
- Extend courtesies freely. Granting an extension or accommodating a reasonable request doesn’t diminish your advocacy; it builds goodwill that can pay dividends when you need it most.
- Play the long game. Today’s opponent could be tomorrow’s referral source or friend. As Mark writes, “Lawyers should conduct themselves so that they may conclude each case with a handshake.”
- Know when to fight, and how. When confrontation is necessary, stay firm but professional. Strength and grace are not opposites; they’re partners in credibility.
- Remember your audience. Judges and juries respect professionalism. Sharp words may feel satisfying in the moment but can erode trust and reputation in the long run.
- Protect your reputation. It takes decades to build and one bad moment to destroy. As Mark shares through personal stories, humility and restraint go farther than righteous anger ever could.
Mark’s perspective reminds us that the law is a profession before it is a business. Those who “make nice, not war” don’t just win cases — they win respect, relationships and lasting reputations.
Click here to read the full article in the ABTL Report.
If professionalism and civility matter to you in your litigation or dispute resolution, connect with Mark or another member of our experienced trial and mediation team to learn more about this perspective from DMW’s attorneys.